Fatal Existence
by melancholy.LOVER
Summary: SasuSaku Even an avenger can learn to love.. but now its too late. LEMON! ONESHOT!


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**Fatal Existence**

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_On this lonesome evening; I find myself enjoying regrets' company ..._

* * *

On this cold and wintry day.. Sasuke Uchiha. Betrayer. Found himself mesmerized by the image of her face. It always remained so passive but when around him, everything changed.

She would stutter like a fool and blush madly.

And sometimes.. _sometimes _he would find himself hoping that she would always remain the same. That he would forever hold her brittle and naïve heart..

But.. just like the seasons morphing from one to another; Sakura Haruno had done the exact same thing. It even baffled Sasuke. How she was disgusted by his mere presence alone, not to mention distempered with what he had eventually become.

"_Just like.. Orochimaru."_

His lips twisted into a sick smirk. He recalled those words falling from such a perfect pair of lips. No matter how many times she would deny the fact that she still obsessed over him like some crazed-school girl, Sasuke could easily shatter what was left of her heart.

More like what _he_ had left of it..

His eyes seemed amused by the gleam of his katana. Something used to kill and slaughter so many innocent people. She had been one of the lucky ones.. Lately, all that would swim around in his sadistic mind was the cherry blossom of Konohagakure.

Flawless in every way imaginable..

If that babbling idiot -Naruto- hadn't shown up, Sakura wouldn't even _still _be alive. Instead, she would be some decaying corpse buried beneath the cold and desolate dirt.

Naruto..

That name.. he had come to despise it now. Someone he had once considered a friend was now an enemy to him.

* * *

_The night was chilly. Again. Sakura had found herself somehow out of her house because she wasn't able to get a minute of sleep. She didn't know why but.. she just couldn't get any shut eye; no matter how hard she tried._

_It was.. because of Sasuke. A boy she used to ogle, now a young -manipulative- man who she still held close.._

_She had thought -hoped- that by now Sasuke would have returned to the village, or even that someone was able to bring him back. So far.. no one was successful in that quest.._

_Not even Naruto Uzumaki._

_Green orbs glanced quickly towards the stone bench where Sasuke had knocked her out years ago; left her that night with only a word of 'thank you' before teaming up with Orochimaru._

_He allowed such a corrupt main to train him. Slowly his own heart and soul began to darken and rot away.._

_She sat on the cool bench, breathed in the spring-air and allowed for the memories to rush back to her like a river in a careen. Her fingers -subconsciously- sought out the rough surface of the bench, gently they trailed along the cold surface._

_The atmosphere seemed to change suddenly. Her heart-rate increased and Sakura found herself shivering. Like she was being watched.. Cautiously, the girl opened her eyes and glanced around the familiar surroundings, nothing had changed.._

_All but one thing.._

_Where one of the blooming sakura trees was located, a shadowy figure was now leaning against the trunk. His palm allowing for a single cherry blossom to rest on it; Sakura almost couldn't make out the smirk._

_And it was all too familiar.._

"_Sa- Sasuke.." Was all she managed to choke out as she stumbled to get up from the bench and face him in both fear and relief._

_Fear that he would do something horrible and relief that she was actually seeing him again since all those years._

"_Beautiful, aren't they?" He took a step forward, crushing the delicate blossom in his calloused hand, then letting the destroyed petals flutter to the ground where he walked._

_She took a step back in defense._

"_What do you want?"_

_His face changed from bored to sick-amusement. Was he enjoying this? Torturing her by returning?_

"_I want.." He mumbled, unsheathing his katana and moving towards her again with a killer intent._

"_You to get out of my head."_

_And in a second, she felt his presence behind her, her eyes widened and her heart repeatedly hit the inside of her ribcage._

"_Sasuke!"_

_A kunai stopped the deadly katana just inches away from her throat; letting out a shaky breath, Sakura stayed exactly where she was, afraid to make any sudden movements just yet._

"_Na.. Naruto?"_

_She saw the sheepish grin he displayed, "I've got you." Her eyes fell closed and all of a sudden her knees felt like jelly. Not being able to support herself, Sakura began to fall forwards._

"_..Sakura..."_

_Catching the girl with his one free-arm, Naruto kept his azure eyes glued to the face of a betrayer. The face that used to belong to his childhood friend._

_Naruto -now matured- held Sakura against his protective body and lay her softly upon the bench, soon after joining Sasuke in battle.._

* * *

That was years ago. The sadness Sakura had shown that day had probably changed for him. If he went back to Konohagakure, Sakura would surely try to kill him; there was no doubt in his mind about that.

He was one of the few people that she loathed..

In the years that he had began to train under Orochimaru's wing, Sasuke had killed an endless amount of people. Somewhere along the way.. he had contracted some type of disease. Kabuto seemed to know little about it and thus he wasn't able to create a cure or suppressant.

His goals were going to be cut short. But.. that only fueled his aspiration to avenge the death of his clan by ending his brother's life. It had been a rigorous battle and it seemed to last days. He was tired, bloody and beaten; Itachi looked to be in the same condition, maybe worse.

But.. with Itachi's eyes failing him near the end of the battle, Sasuke was able to finally end the grudge and finished it all with a katana through the throat.

No sympathy.

No regret.

No pity.

Coursed through his veins that night. Nothing. He felt absolutely nothing; not evening witnessing his brother gurgling and choking on his own blood.

Nothing at all..

* * *

He was a man. And _all _men -including himself- had urges and needs. Now that his brother was disposed of, he was able to think a little bit clearer. Although, Sakura ended up entering his mind for days on end. And then.. one particular evening, the desire grew too strong and he was afraid that this was a battle he just wasn't going to win.

* * *

"_I told you.. I don't want to see you. Go back."_

_He started shedding his clothes as soon as he laid eyes on her hardly concealed body. And what Sasuke Uchiha wanted; Sasuke Uchiha got._

"_Does it look like I give a shit what you want?"_

_He had her pressed up against the wall in a second flat. Her fear escalated within but she would never allow herself to show it on her face._

"_We both know that you still want me.." He rasped against the side of her neck. By this action alone, Sakura found herself shuddering against him. The warmth of his body made up for the coldness of the wall._

_Her hands held his shoulders and she tried pushing him away but he insisted. Sakura wasn't about to move over and allow him to touch her in such ways that she could never imagine._

_Could she?_

"_I said.. leave."_

_God! Her voice was even failing her now! She sounded so childlike, so scared and so hopelessly lost.._

"_I don't think you want me to leave."_

_She went to yell at him. Tell him how she hated his fucking guts and that she wished he would just drop dead already but.. somehow she was being roughly kissed by someone she hated. Or so she thought.._

_He held her petite frame using his muscled arms, tilted her head to the right angle and devoured her mouth. He was like some crazed-animal really.. Only acting upon instinct and not listening to a word anyone was saying._

_His lips crushed hers, his tongue dominated hers, and his teeth nipped and bit. Never had she felt so.. so.. overruled! And by Sasuke no less._

_All she could do at a time like this was shut her eyes like some scared child and hope that all this would come to an end. It wasn't going to. Sakura could tell by the way he kissed her for a second time, so filled with passion and lust._

"_N.. no, Sasuke.. I-"_

_He hushed her with his mouth again. Ran his fingers across her smooth face and sunk them into her pink locks of hair. Still.. her stomach was in knots, her heart felt hollow and at the back of her head.. she knew this was wrong._

_Being with Sasuke.. in such a heated situation was.. it wasn't right. It made her the same as him; a betrayer to Konoha._

_At least.. that's how she felt at the moment._

"_Still want me to leave?"_

_He eyed her and it made Sakura feel utterly uncomfortable. Like he was scrutinizing her in a way.._

_She shivered under his watchful gaze. Her eyes never meeting his own; instead, all she did was bite her bottom lip and look to the side. Look at anything but him._

_He had other plans and gripped her chin -surprisingly- gently and forced her to meet with his eyes. They held.. longing? She wasn't able to turn her head away so instead she looked into his onyx orbs and shook her head. _

_The answer to his ever lingering question._

"_Good."_

_Was all he said before leaning in and capturing her lips once again. This time however, he was a bit more gentle. His lips moved with hers instead of against hers; his hands ran up and down her arms, coaxing the shy girl._

_He guided her to the bed, without him, she would have surely collapsed. Never, had she imagined Sasuke to be so soothing and careful with her. He seemed like the dominating type.._

_Tauntingly, his fingers trailed across the flat plane of her stomach, stopping just above her navel and dipping his head to ravish her slender neck. She gasped and thrashed beneath the Uchiha, using her hands to hold the front of his shirt._

"_Sasuke.."_

_Her entire body felt like it was ignited in flames. She was blushing all over and her heart wouldn't stop pounding uncomfortably against her ribs. _

"_...Too.. h- hot..."_

_She tugged on her shirt for emphasis. Watching while Sasuke began to unbutton her medic attire; she didn't have a chance to change since she was working later than usual._

_He admired how fit Sakura was now but his eyes stayed glued to her breasts hidden behind the black, lacy bra. His tongue ran along her jawline all the way to her collar bone; soon after nipping at the shown cleavage._

_Sakura held both sides of his head, urging him to continue on with his torturous ministrations. Even though her shirt and bra were now discarded, the same feverish feeling rushed over her and settled in the pit of her stomach; Sakura felt unfamiliar aching between her thighs and decided upon pressing her knees together in the hopes that it would soon subside._

_Becoming acutely aware that Sakura was throbbing from below, Sasuke continued on licking and nuzzling her breasts but let his fingers run over her clothed womanhood, eliciting quiet whimpers and moans._

"_You want me to stop?"_

_Not being able to form her own words, Sakura merely thrust her pelvis forwards into his awaiting hand and closed her eyes. At the same time, she wondered if Sasuke felt as hot as she did.._

_The cold breeze that settled in around her bottom-half made Sakura shiver and just by that, she knew her shorts and undergarments had been removed. Now she lay naked for Sasuke Uchiha to see._

_All to himself._

_She could tell that Sasuke was fully nude as well. Something hot and hard brushed against her inner thigh, causing her to become startled and look to where he was currently separating her legs; a faint blush tattooed to his cheeks._

"_There's no turning back, Sakura."_

_She watched his passive face, nudging him, urging him to go on. Telling him -silently- that it was okay._

"_No regrets." She surprised herself by how calm she sounded when on the inside she was just waiting to explode in hot flames._

_A solemn nod from Sasuke's end. Slowly he traced his fingers down her legs, almost as if he was trying to soothe her.. In sweet bliss, Sasuke pressed forwards gently and closed his eyes when he felt the tight heat envelope around his aching cock._

_He tried to calm himself down for at least a little while; he could tell that this was her first time but why did he care? He was getting exactly what he had wanted so.. why give a shit if he hurt her or not?_

_But now.. his eyes gazed intently at her scrunched up face and he didn't look away until he felt that he was fully sheathed inside of the girl beneath him. Sakura tightly gripped the blankets and cried out quietly when Sasuke proceeded to pull half-way out and press deep inside her again._

_The bed rocked with each movement and both teens held on like their very lives depended on it. Only when the pain slowly left did Sakura feel a warm and electrifying sensation run up from the tips of her toes to her head._

_It felt.. good._

_Her arms came around the male, she held his upper body for some type of support while he thrust into her repeatedly. With each movement on Sasuke's part, Sakura felt like she was nearing release._

_Only when the Uchiha pressed even deeper within her did she burst in flames of ecstasy and passion. Her arms and legs were so weak and there was a faint soreness gathering up where she had been de-flowered.. but all in all the experience was spectacular._

_Soon after, Sakura found herself half-asleep in Sasuke's arms, the side of his head resting against hers. He knew that he would have to leave as soon as she eventually fell under sleeps' spell.._

_That was her sacrifice._

* * *

And that's someone who he held so close to his heart. The only person that was able to even reach that far and locate a heart.. A long time ago he thought it had shriveled up and decayed.

But somehow.. Sakura had managed to find it.

And that.. was something Sasuke Uchiha was still unable to comprehend. Even if he spent all his time thinking about it. He would never be able to understand how she did it.

* * *

"What happened?"

He rushed to her side. Held her withering body and hushed to her; she was so frail and weak now.

"Sakura-chan! Don't close your eyes; stay awake! Please..."

Naruto -hokage to be- had sent someone to fetch for Tsunade. Only she would have some chance of helping Sakura. They all knew.. Everyone knew that she was deathly ill.. None of the medications were working and sometimes Naruto found himself thinking that their was no hope left.

"Don't let your child down! Sakura-chan, wake up!"

She was slipping away, drifting in and out of consciousness..

Her immune system wasn't strong enough to fight off the disease for much longer, day by day, she found that she would get weaker and weaker until this evening when she finally collapsed.

"Its happening already?" Screamed Tsunade, rushing inside of the room and to Sakura's immediate side. She placed a cool cloth over her forehead to stop the fever and made her drink down a new type of medication Shizune had helped her recover.

"Can we still save the baby?" Asked Naruto. The elder woman rested her hands on Sakura's overly-bulged stomach and nodded faintly.

"I think so.. She's already 9 months in."

Naruto was at Sakura's side as well, holding her hand and rubbing her knuckles with his fingers. He was too exhausted and even though he didn't want to or even mean to.. slowly he drifted off into sleep. All the while his and Sakura's hands were still linked together.

* * *

He was jolted awake by the sounds of screaming and crying. His heart was racing and he opened his eyes quickly, absorbing the room around him. The lights were dimmed and the air was tense.

He looked down and saw the passive and content face of Sakura Haruno. Even when she was asleep, she looked so at peace.. He turned to look at Tsunade who's face was pale and in her arms, wrapped in a pink blanket was a small baby.

"She's asleep.." Murmured Naruto but.. when Tsunade shook her head, reality came crashing down upon the soon to be 6th hokage.

"No. Naruto.. I'm sorry but-"

"Stop!" He looked down at Sakura's face, touching her cheeks and finally realizing that she wasn't alive. He fell backwards, the truth too much for him to handle right at the minute.

"H.. how?"

Tsunade looked down at the baby girl she was holding with care, sadly she smiled.

"Her body.. wasn't able to sustain itself any longer..."

He punched the floor; Naruto was angry and sad at the same time. Angry because he wasn't able to say goodbye to her.. He had foolishly fallen asleep when all she needed was for everyone to be there.

"I didn't even- dammit!"

He was pissed. Tsunade walked over to him and touched his shoulder, trying her best to calm him.

"...Naruto.. now she doesn't have to suffer.."

She handed the adolescent male Sakura's child. And when he looked at her small, pink face; he smiled, crying at the same time. This was too overwhelming..

"...Sakura."

* * *

The half-full vial of medicine fell from his hand; trembling, Sasuke sprinted as fast as he could away from Orochimaru's castle. He had to get away.. Orochimaru had abandoned using Sasuke as a capsule since he was ill.

So now.. he had no purpose.

He screamed. Cried in agony and pain. The morning was gloomy and damp, the grass still wet with dew. Somehow he found himself hunched beneath the shade of a lonely cherry blossom tree.

All he could think of was Sakura. He hadn't seen her in such a long time.. and now it was too late to go back and ask for forgiveness or even start a new life.. with her.

He held himself up using the trunk of the tree, palm pressed against it while he took in ragged, shallow breathes. No longer were his legs able to carry him, now he was on the grassy floor, fingernails digging into the dirt.

And finally.. when his heart gave one particular uncomfortable thud. Everything stopped; Sasuke Uchiha fell immobile. The sweet scented wind dancing with his hair and loose-fitting attire. The breeze moved the secluded cherry blossom tree, causing most of the withering blossoms to flutter gracefully to the corpse of Sasuke Uchiha.

As if trying to bury his body in the sweet smelling flowers. If you live the life of an avenger, fate can never be changed.. Not even for a powerful man like Sasuke. But.. along the way he learned to love. Learned to allow _her _into his heart and repair the damage done.

Sasuke didn't die as an avenger.. He died as a man, with a certain girl in his mind. A girl who he unnoticeably fell in-love with along the road. And still.. that genuine smile lingered on his face..

Passive. Just like Sakura.

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_This sad afternoon; Has died with the sun ...  
_

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**__****A/N: Okay!! its finally finished :D mann i've been doing that for HOURS! Literally :) well hope you all enjoyed and yes. Sakura's daughter lived and Sakura died cause Sasuke spread the disease he had to her.**

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